Living with Divorce

If you compare the mid-to-late twentieth century to today, you will see many differences in how we live our life. One huge difference is divorce. Back then it was abnormal to have your parents be divorced, and even looked down upon, but today, it is abnormal in many cases not to have your parents be divorced. Life has changed, but not everyone has found a good way to deal with it.

My parents got divorced when I was three.  When I tell people this, they often look shocked. Their first instinct is to say, “Oh my goodness, I am so sorry. That must have been really tough.” But honestly, I do not remember it being that tough. Because I was so young, it is what I grew up knowing. I do not have memories of my parents being together. And you know, I am thankful for that, because if I would have known them being happy, or not being happy it would have been a lot harder to adjust to them not being together. When I was little I was probably the only one of my friends whose parents were divorced. But now, it is more common so I am not the only one. Yes, with my immediate friends I am still the only one, but I do not feel like a complete outsider because so many others are in the same situation.

There are many forms of divorce. The two forms I am most familiar with are: the divorcees get a long and can communicate freely and then there are the divorcees that have to go through their children in order to communicate.  My parents have always been able to communicate freely with each other. They do not have to go through me in order to communicate. This is easier for all three of us, because when it goes through too many people, things get mixed up and that is when drama is started. I am thankful that my parents can be “acquaintances” with each other, because if they wouldn’t have been it would have made my life a lot harder growing up. I am also exposed to the opposite result of divorce. My stepdad and his ex wife have trouble communicating directly. This is not because both of them do not make the effort; my stepdad tries to talk to her, but she is not willing to talk with him.  This is hard for not only my stepdad and his daughters, but also for my mom! This is because my mom is not able to know what is really going on, and my mom and stepdad have to go through many obstacles to just be able to communicate about little things with my stepsisters’ mom.

Many people go through divorces in life. It can be hard, but it doesn’t always have to be. I am actually thankful that my parents got divorced, because if they wouldn’t have, I would not have the two step parents that I have now. I like both of my step parents and I am thankful for them. And without my step parents, I would not have the three amazing sisters I have today. Sometimes it is hard, but looking at it now, I am very fortunate to have the family I have today. It makes my life so much enjoyable knowing I have more people to love, and who want to love me.